Today, I just want to be open and honest. I’ve been busy blogging away and in the midst of that God started working on me. Because I realized that maybe through the craze of the holiday season, and the inspiration of the new year that I lost sight of why I was doing what I was doing. That maybe my desire to be known, grew larger then the desire to make him known. Maybe I got to focused on the numbers instead of the people. That if I have one person reach out to me that day, that’s greater then 1000 of numbers. Maybe I lost track of real life because the idea of my name being known became more appealing. Because maybe the idea of living a life where I lost my importance became terrifying, and maybe I just realized that I’m okay with only my future children remembering my life. Maybe it took a good prayer to realize that I lost track of the why of my life. That I’m not doing this to better myself, I’m doing this to better his kingdom.
So I’m saying sorry. I’m sorry for a lack of focus, for letting my desire to me known become greater then my desire to serve him.